Friday, February 27, 2009

On Moving to Maui

Meandering around Maui and wondering if it makes any sense to move here?

First that question and then this -- the voice within wails out ( and oh I truly do love this part of me) " Who the fuck cares if it makes sense girl?" I mean it's not like "making sense" has ever worked out for me -- I can never quite master that one. And thus, I am thinking that maybe making sense is one way over rated son of a gun who certainly never took the leap over thousands of miles of Pacific to live a life of trade winds, clear warm waters, magic all around and the feeling that even if one is broke as currently ( notice currently) in the case of yours truly-- at least broke in Paradise feels like a grand adventure--- broke in L.A -- face it, feels like--loser!

And sooooo I am on a mad and wonderful campaign across Maui in each of the four directions, feeling the vibes and checking out all nooks and crannies, scenes, dreams and communities to decide just what part of this mysterious and magic Island, I might indeed call home---

Husband and stepdaughter are flying out to join me tomorrow to come and check it out!!!!! I tested the idea to him on the phone when I realized that I really did miss him. And I'll be darned and delighted if he didn't book tickets and is on his way! You gotta love a man that does that! Even though I had come here thinking it might be a good place for me to move to have some separation-- Lo and Behold, I actually find that I want him here with me!

Hey, maybe taking the leap together, to go live the dream, to "act as if", might just be the re-bonding medicine that we need--that or we will kill each other. But I digress...

Being a boat/water dude an all, he will be in his BLISS over here. My 14 year old stepdaughter however is another question. I am just praying that Mother Maui will cast a love spell on Marisa that will create her begging to move here. I plan to work on her and give her the best time ever when she gets here and with God's grace she might make a buddy or two and realize it could be awesome to move here. Bottom line, who is kidding who here? I have my work cut out for me.

It all seems pretty much a no brainer as far as ever other issue. When all else is said and done, and if for some unfortunate reason, if I am not fully rolling in enough dough to sustain myself with all my creative" trying to make it" projects and I gasp have to get a normal work a day job ( maybe a hotel, timeshare, who knows what?) AT LEAST, I will be living my dream and able to chalk another one of those wishes on the list of Patrice's life off. The community by the way that I have always craved seems to be here... there is a camaraderie over here of folks that are a true tribe of beings just grateful to call Maui home. And refuges from the Mainland all with something they wanted to find or to leave and Maui is one heck of a beacon of light- I tell ya! Then again maybe I will be so happy finally escaping from L.A that the Goddess of Prosperity and the Blesser of Book and Movie deals and all manner of Successes will find us here and we can live well and have a few more creature comforts ( like enough money to fly back if we want to!!!)

It is friggen Beautiful here ( no words do justice) It just feels warm and real and Aloha and something about the distance between here and the mainland makes all things seem new again,.... all things seem ...possible.

Is this running away, escaping, pulling a geographical, -- won't I be taking all my issues, burdens, sorrows bla bla bla with me? YES and your point is???? Damn it I need a new adventure and I think I am going to go ahead and give myself that gift. Sell and give away almost everything and bring me, Coco, my laptop, clothes and maybe Mark and Marisa and hop on over.

As I sit here breathing the warmth of hope and looking across the sparkling sea with the palm trees swaying and the green majestic peaks of Maui.... All that comes to mind is one big YES!

Oh and if the economy never recovers and all Hell breaks loose --I gotta say at least there are mangoes and avacados falling off of trees , bananas everywhere and plenty of fish to be caught- We won't go hungry ...

Just Love!


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Down the Rabbit Hole We go.... Adult Indigos, 2012 and the Love Revolution that is Underway

As I continue down-the-rabbit-hole of wonder on this spiritual path that I have been on for almost half a century now, the wonders continue at a breathtaking rate. The world as I knew it has changed and the LOVE revolution is most assuredly underway. 

My mission continues to become tweaked and crystallized for me . What I  offer up now is my truth and experience  as I report in for duty by sharing my personal unfoldment  as I/WE participate in that of Planet Earth's!

I would love for you to join me as we share these unprecedented changes together. As we go through it all -- all of it-- the tests, trials and tribulations, the ecstacys, the agonies.

 And me? A gal ( perhaps similar -- or not!-- to you ) , who has known all her life that there was something so tragically wrong with how this current Earth plane works-- this odd, dense, thick orb I found myself stuck  on. A stranger in a strange land. That remembered a place of such utter magnificance and joy--- so filled with Divinity and warmth-- I have suffered with longing for that home ever since.

It is so weird ( also known as perfect) how things are revealed to you at just the time that you are ready for them, apparantly!  After all these years as a spritual seeker, writer, student....I find out that there is actually a name for my  lifelong ailment and that indeed there are others ( thousands of others- though still a tiny minority! ) all over the world, like me. The Indigo Adults...

I am being guided to start communicating with you now-- more by the use of You Tube videos. I need to get real in only the way that eyes, voice, expression and movement can. Though I love the medium of writing, I am feeling the need to share in a way that words alone can't quite touch. I look forward to having you see me soon.

On my videos-- I will talk more about my discoveries regarding all this-- suffice to say, I finally understand what my spiritual "sadness/depression" has always been about. So many many things finally falling into place. Patrice's cosmic jigsaw puzzle ( if you will) has found some missing pieces. Who knows? Perhaps through my story, I might be of service in helping you find some of yours.

 Of this, I am certain, our mission is being quickened-- 2012 draws closer and  The Great Battle between Light and Dark-- Good and Evil is well underway and reaching a pivitol moment, we reach a cosmic critical mass. 

All of our suffering and homesickness has not been in vain. The trumpet has sounded and we are being called to order.   WE signed on to be here at this crucial time in Humanity's Evolution and to in fact remind each other that it is NOW and that we CAN bring Heaven to Earth. No, really! Really, Really, Really we can! 

 The way is Love.  The way is Truth. If God/Spirit is capable of all things--(And we know He/It is!)-- then it IS not only possible, it is in fact, our destiny.

and way overdue...

more to come, sweet ones.

Let us remember no-thing else....



Thursday, February 12, 2009

Down in the Dumps Day

I was wanting to come up with a super, clever, funny post for you all to make up for the fact that my blog seems to have dwindled down to just once a week, ( all part of my recent bout of melancholy) but I find I am failing miserably.
It is one of those days. You know the ones-- or do you? I wonder sometimes if I am a rarity when it comes down to those Blah, Blah, really Blah days or do you all have 'em too? Logic and my 12 step meetings tell me you do, but the way my warped mind works,I am tormented with little diddies like," God you are so f--ked up Patrice. No one else wanders around there house with the maddening existential angst like you do!"
My voices can be mean little a--holes, clever and cunning too. They just seem to get cheap thrills in kicking me extra hard, when I am down. They delight in it, in fact. Cruel little devils, they are. And then,  ( and this can really mess with me) comes the realization that "they" are indeed not from some external source. They are in fact all me!
Now if that doesn't send you wanting to run for the hills, I don't know what else could. I tell ya. "Why?", I ask myself, " do  you let YOU do that to YOU?"
No good answers come, only more questions.
Oh, I can come up with rote reasons-- spiritual growth, emotional maturing, deeper connections to kick my ass into being of service to others instead of moping around. But these " reasons"all seem trite and cliche today. Like bland fortune cookies that are stuffed with the same old crap you  have read a million times before. You will succeed in all your affairs.
 I wanted today, just for once to have the most brilliant of epiphanies that would result in me solving the riddle of all time, or creating world peace, or great art, or for the love of God at least some damn relief, but alas, today as usual, I just waited for the hours to pass. 
I snuggled Coco, made a few phone calls, watched Tivo'd shows, paced, ate, stared out the window when I wasn't gazing at the computer waiting for it to heal me. I talked to God, yelled at God, bargained with God and still the hours passed like molasses.
Even the invitation from my girlfriend in Maui to come for a visit in the next couple of weeks ( which I am going to do by the way) brought no real joy. Hawaii for God's sake! That should have stirred up a bit of delight-- but nope-- nada- zippo.
And so, I am blogging. I mean after all, I can't be funny, witty, zippy, trippy, Patrice all the time, can I? Should I? Would that I could!
Yuck, I am even boring myself here-- so I am going to move on. There is no " good " reason for all of this icky depression. Not really. No- one died. Well actually that is not true. A troubled gal ( obviously having some very bad days herself!) in my building accidentally overdosed on a Oxycontin and some kind of booze lethal combo last week.
 I went to her "viewing" yesterday even though I hardly knew her. Hey I was in  the area any way and it seemed like a decent thing to do. And truth be told, I haven't seen a dead body in a while and I was mildly curious...
  Yikes - yuck. Looking at her laying there looking not at all like the neighbor I saw once in a while, she looked old and weirdly made up. The embalmer maybe was having an off day?
  Her corpse gave me absolutely no pause in remembering that when I leave, I am absolutely to be cremated. No bad make up jobs for me, that I don't even get to approve -- thank you very much!
And now I have a perfectly good reason to claim is the reason for my blues today. That Claudia in # 203 died and she didn't really mean to.
May she rest in peace.
God I hope that's how it works. If not, I will be friggen Pissed off, I tell ya! 
Okay, I am going now-- tomorrow will be better. I can feel it. I will chalk the real reason for my state of mind today on a slew of facts,  my empty nest, midlife madness, planet gone bonkers, husband not around, teen stepdaughter suspended for being drunk, debt growing, mean nasty agents rejecting, phone not ringing, state of affairs....
Need I say more- Oh yeah and that Don't have any vices to play with!
Hey, having said all that-- I am actually am doing much better than I thought-- considering.....
 Much better happiness posting next time, I promise... or you can chase me down and slap me.
Truly, I need one thing and one thing only--  no really!  And, I'll be darned... I am going to find it and give it to myself. Who better????
Just Love!


Friday, February 6, 2009

The Sky is Falling

My latest fun activity is talking to random strangers on the streets, elevators, banks you name it and and getting their reaction to this one statement that I make, " It sure is getting crazy out there."

This one sentence seems to unleash an avalanche of responses from the moderately mild to the ragingly hysterical. I enjoy being the catalyst to let folks unburden their pent up emotions that somehow seem to be unearthed by my "invitation to let loose" and let loose they do. From politics to global warming, drug addiction to crime, the economy to illegal aliens, to real aliens ( as in the little green men kind) to, well, fill in the blank-- I have rarely met a stranger who does not take my bait and run wild with it.

The overall summarization that I can make of all this is that there is a collective sense out in the world that life as we know it has changed and is continuing to do so at a dizzying pace...

I, for one, am excited about the possibilities, a brotherhood among men will be the natural unfoldment coming out of all of this seeming chaos-- I really believe that. The sky may be falling but the Light is above us all and a new Heaven on Earth just may be under construction. We needed a new foundation and we are getting it. Our new home could be- will be- utterly glorious. Really.

In the meantime, "It sure is getting crazy out there."

Nothing else to do but....

Just Love!


Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Back with you

Good morning beautiful peeps,

Ah, it is good to be back-- I missed you all way too much and am not leaving again! Such a drama queen I am. Jeez.

The birds are a twirpin' the sun is a shining, spring is on the way and I have a lousy cold. This minor ailment gave me a  highly authentic reason to skip Vinnie's killer yoga class today. I just didn't have the energy to do an hour and a half of high level postures in a room with 80-100 other perfect bodied yogis sweatin' out here in Santa Monica....and soooooo--- I took Coco for a walk instead. Coco, for those of you that don't know is the cutest and I mean CUTEST wiener dog in the world.( see pic a few posts ago) By the way, I truly do live in the coolest neighborhood in L.A ( Venice/Santa Monica)-- Cafes, the beach, hip boutiques, the Venice boardwalk--what's not to love? When I am not in my cup half empty state, I truly can appreciate it, and trust me, for a gal that often swore that there was no friggen' cup, I have come a LONG way!

 FYI There are a lot of things happening on the career front so please keep fingers crossed for me. Let's put it this way, I am either on the verge of a spiritual empire with several new books and some old ones getting republished, script sold, non-profit raising tons of dough, speaking, signing, wining and dining-- OR bankruptcy. No, really! 

Let's all hold the intention for the former shall we? But always with that one caveat that covers EVERYTHING-- Thy will be done. ( I just love that -- it brings me such peace, when I let it) Something bigger than me has my back, and yours!

Uh oh! Sneezing and coughing attack is underway-- so I will sign off until later. I am glad to be back with ya all-- I have decided to keep it simple and just write...No more scrutinizing my every motive, analyzing my every move, pondering my ever intention for this blog.

"For the love of God Patrice," I tell myself, " Just write!"

And of course,

Just Love!