Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Bad Words and the Email from Grace

 Hey Everyone,
  I feel like a lazy ASS today for not getting my butt off to yoga and sitting here for 14 hours at the "terminal" (albeit a pretty flippin' nice terminal to be at- ocean view, cool hood, love my Mac, not a bad scene at all). The reason, by the way, that I capitalized ASS was because I could... This tiny act of rebellion comes from a meeting I had a couple of nights ago with my literary agent, whereupon she mentioned that I use too many "curse" words (in other words that I need to clean up my potty mouth) to which I wanted to say are you F-cking kidding me? The planet is about to implode and you're offended by my rather "salty sailor/sexy wench and I think quite uniquely me way of expressing She said that it was un-becoming for a "teacher" to speak like that.  To which I retorted, " but I am a totally different kind of teacher and I don't talk like that onstage-- (well not as a habit!)." She was unmoved.
  I spent the rest of our meeting being very aware of just how much I hate eggshells, and vacillating between feeling like a scolded, shamed, naughty child and one royally pissed off adult.

JEEZ! Sometimes the whole darn thing is just so well darned irritating. What darned thing are you talking about? you ask--- I mean the WHOLE DARNED THING all of it..The whole thing that occurs from when -you- first- open- your- eyes- till- when -you- close- them- darned thing.  LIFE!  (But not really!)   It's just my current mood and since I am bla bla blogging I thought I would just go right on ahead with exactly what's up in the current moment with me- Lucky you huh?!!! Which leads me to my meeting earlier.

 I just came back from tea with a gal that was telling me about this new book called Radical Honesty which is about well  Radical Honesty and how that can change your life. Hmmmmnnn.  Well the deal that I started pondering is that , for almost all of my life-  I have lived for the most part as one hell of a truthful- honest- kinda -gal . It is kind of my whole shtick ( I really don't know another way to be  and not feel sick inside) , I can tell you for sure though that this kind of radical honesty doesn't make you the most popular kid on the block. It is quite the burden always being the one with the balls to call the emperor out as naked, because well, he is! While everyone else around you is wildly applauding his lovely invisible robes.

 So I am not sure about the whole radical honesty thing-- Integrity and sense of self- check!  Easy to do? no check Scary- check check check!!!. You gotta have a thick skin and be a brave soul to really venture here. Trust me, I have the battle scars to prove it. But, I invite you to really exploring the concept of living as though " To Thine Own Self Be True" was one of your personal mission statements.There is alot to be said for it and  you will be taken to some very trippy wonderful places inside.

Oh! One really cool thing that happened today is that out of  cyber space blue, this incredible orphanage in Southern India that was formed after the cyclone disasters, wrote me a very beautiful email asking for financial help ( complete with many pictures of all the kids) . Since I am have literally just launched my non profit foundation- The Just Love Project-- I took this to be a great God Wink that I am on the right track.  How friggen' cool would that be! --To actually be in a position to fly to India ( my favorite country on Earth by the way) and hand checks out like candy to help these children that will never know the creature comforts you and  I take for granted. Now that has to be one hell of a feeling. I'm jazzed, committed and on a mission- I will be hitting you up soon. In fact--I'll start now. If you can help out at all-- please go visit my site and please make a donation. I promised Emmanuel the head of the orphanage called GRACE that his orphange would be the very first place we would help. Now that the promise has been made and we have exchanged so many emails and photos-- this is all so very real to me. 

To actually have a non- profit organization so that I cannot not just write books and talk, talk talk but to actually be able to hand over CASH to help people  in a very real, hands on, way. This "out of the blue" email addressed to "Sister Patrice" at Just Love, asking for help from the "Grace" Orphanage, was way -way wonderful.   I just love synchronistic coolness from the universe- the magical signs- I take this as one from upstairs that I am on the right track here. 
So although I say,"bad" words sometimes-  my heart- it's in the right place..
.....just where it should be

Just Love!

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