Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Well, Mission Maui is Over! 0r Aloha Ha Ha Ha...

Hey Guys,

I don't even know where to begin....

Let's just put it this way.....I HAVE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK AND I SURVIVED. They say that moving to Maui is a very different experience than going to visit. No truer words have ever been spoken. From the moment the plane landed till the moment another plane took off for Los Angeles 2 1/2 months later ( with me on it!) everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

From splitting up with my husband within weeks of arriving ,to the sugar cane burn that left a thick layer of brown red dirt for weeks over every surface in my house to the giant flying cockroaches to having no money and no jobs and tourism way down and people leaving the island in droves because of the suffering economy there to the unrelenting wind for weeks at a time that made me feel crazy to my growing intense depression as I looked out at the ocean and realized that I was a 5 hour flight from everyone and everything that mattered mostly including my 17 year old son on the mainland with his dad that made me realize that I couldn't handle an ocean separating us.... You momma lions know what I mean--- if we had to, we could walk miles to reach our children if they needed us ( but I can't swim 2500 miles!) and when you are running out of money on a little island and you are there with your car and your stuff and the wind and the bugs and your sad and your scared and your about to turn 50 and you feel alone--- well, you get the idea...

I was over it, and it was time to admit that the Maui adventure was just that, an adventure but it was not HOME. and so, I shipped the car, the dog, sold all the furniture that I had bought there and arrived at LAX at 4:40 am --

To add insult to injury, I sent out a pretty pleading email to my "circle" explaining my plight and that I needed a "soft place to land and be loved up a bit" ,well let me say here that the results were not staggering as far as offers went which really put me into a downward spin as I once again realized that I am ALONE.... my crazy mother and brother ( no really!) don't count as family and my friends are scattered ( I have moved so much in my life it is no wonder that I feel so displaced) and my son left momma at 13 to go live with "dad".

Heck it was me and Coco ( my beloved wiener dog and best friend) on the bed eating Denny's take out on July 5th ( my 50th birthday!) at the Extended Stay America in Woodland Hills( little furnished motel type rooms with TV and Internet and little kitchens that let you have your dog!)...

Yikes! It is one weird place--their "handle" is... "Extended stay where you can stay and stay!" Needless to say there are a lot of "transitioning folk" here and apparently, I am one of them!

There is so much more that I want to say--- I haven't written in so long and as my fingers move across the keyboard I feel somewhat alive again but I am also tired so I will close for today saying this....

God, I am so happy to be back on the Mainland. That said, I LOVE MAUI and if everything hadn't fallen apart, maybe my experience would have been very different. Yet it is said that Maui is a powerful teacher and that whatever needs looking at in your life, "She" will bring to the surface ( like I haven't been looking enough???)

Maui did what I had asked her to do ( just not in the way that I imagined) I asked for sanctuary and healing-- Sanctuary apparently is an inside job and healing comes in many forms.... I had to go to"paradise" to realize that it has to be within first. And so that is what I am now working on... My "pain body" as Eckhart Tolle speaks of in The Power of Now has been "feeding" on me for far too long ( it has had a lot to grow real big on with my "story") and before I leave this world, my goal is to find happiness, create it, bring it to others, live it and breathe it and by God, that is my new Mission. And if it took my Maui fiasco to bring me to this moment, then She did her job and now I am going to do mine. When you hit a bottom in your life, as this surely is-- there is a level of surrender, humility, compassion that goes beyond anything I have ever experienced. God and I are tight right now... and I am very ready for the promised miracles that come from this place.

What I learned in Maui about living with Aloha has forever been embedded in me-- I met so many living/giving angels in Maui and I will miss that so much, so many beautiful souls all iving in one place...Now I am here in the " city of angels"-- Los Angeles ( though most people here just don't know it yet) and I will be one of them. One day, I will offer sanctuary for people that need it. I will be that girl that never turns a blind eye to a plea for help. The only thing that matters to me now is kindness, the only true and ultimately meaningful spiritual practice ever. I am here now to love. Period.

Watch me.

Just Love,


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Mission Maui Complete!

I am here and it is magic....

No really, MAGIC. I have met more angels in the one week I have been here than the past many years in Los Angeles. There is something here that just seems to bring out the goodness in people. Or maybe they just remember what a traumatic move it is and bend over backwards to help other souls that have made the leap.

That said, at times I feel like a scared little kid that is at sleep away camp for the first time, is God awful homesick, and wants mommy and daddy.

We had a rough crash landing, as the house we rented on Craig's List sight unseen was a dump. This created some manner of havoc you cannot even imagine as we locked up and left the house to search for digs at a hotel where we could regroup and figure out what the hell to do next. Bear in mind, I, in my usual obsessive compulsive way had changed everything to the now rejected house and knew I had some serious damage control to do to re- do everything I had done and find us a home. And don't even get me started at the pain of my doggies being in quarantine for the next 3 months. I have felt so guilty for that. Luckily I can at least visit them and I just keep telling myself it is just a matter of time till they come home and run around the yard that we got them..because.....

Long story short-- after five intense days and nights of some serious panic and freakouts, we found our dream place on the North Shore of Maui just where we wanted to be. Gourgous deck with panoramic views of the ocean and mountains, huge spacious and yes our own coconut trees to boot.

Stepdaughter teen Marisa has discovered her "inner surfer" and cannot leave the water.... I mean seriously 5-6 hours a day boogie boardind the big waves at Paia Bay with the big boys. She is HOME. Mark is pretty blissed out himself.

We can't move into new house for another 9 days so we are at a tropical rental cottage called Bamboo Gate. Today I opened a checking account at the Bank of Hawaii, got a prescription filled at the local pharmacy and it began to dawn on me--I live here now. I live in Maui. It was not a move for the faint of heart and took almost all that I have but I gotta tell ya, from 2, 100 miles out in the ocean from California, the adventure has just begun.

I promise to get my lazy ass to post pictures as soon as we move in. I haven't even begun to explore or even have much chance yet to really soak in the fact that I now live here on this beautiful island, but I will- trust me, I will.

For now, I wanted to at least check in and say Aloha! We have arrived...

Much more later,

and always...

Just Love!


Sunday, April 5, 2009

From Madness to Maui

Okay so I know I kinda suck in that I have been in hiding for many weeks now--


I will fill you in later ( I promise-- just let me settle in a tad) on all the incredible sequence of events ( including the sudden dropping dead of my father) (Sorry for the lack of grace in description there, but as a tyrant, abusive father, I didn't feel the need for a softer gentler description)...

Oh Lordy there is so much to share--Bottom line cause I am still not quite ready to dive quite yet into my usual long winded blogging sphere....

I am moving in 10 days to Maui....To the most beautiful trippy, hippy, artsy, surfer, magical little town called Paia on the north shore of Maui. Husband Mark and Step daughter teen Marisa are in tow and we lift off on April 15.

I am checking into "Hospital Maui" for my everything healing , my 50th birthday present to myself and to Mark ( who just turned that big corner)

To the land of rainbows, and mystical mountains and the next part of our destiny.

To a land where Aloha is said all day and one of it's meanings is Love-- you gotta love a place where "Love" is spoken out loud and inside to each and all, day every day...

So much more to say, to explain, to share, to question, to ponder with you all...

Patrice's big tropical adventure and what that really means

The Islands called--And I am answering.

Aloha..which by the way is the epitome of

Just Love


Friday, February 27, 2009

On Moving to Maui

Meandering around Maui and wondering if it makes any sense to move here?

First that question and then this -- the voice within wails out ( and oh I truly do love this part of me) " Who the fuck cares if it makes sense girl?" I mean it's not like "making sense" has ever worked out for me -- I can never quite master that one. And thus, I am thinking that maybe making sense is one way over rated son of a gun who certainly never took the leap over thousands of miles of Pacific to live a life of trade winds, clear warm waters, magic all around and the feeling that even if one is broke as currently ( notice currently) in the case of yours truly-- at least broke in Paradise feels like a grand adventure--- broke in L.A -- face it, feels like--loser!

And sooooo I am on a mad and wonderful campaign across Maui in each of the four directions, feeling the vibes and checking out all nooks and crannies, scenes, dreams and communities to decide just what part of this mysterious and magic Island, I might indeed call home---

Husband and stepdaughter are flying out to join me tomorrow to come and check it out!!!!! I tested the idea to him on the phone when I realized that I really did miss him. And I'll be darned and delighted if he didn't book tickets and is on his way! You gotta love a man that does that! Even though I had come here thinking it might be a good place for me to move to have some separation-- Lo and Behold, I actually find that I want him here with me!

Hey, maybe taking the leap together, to go live the dream, to "act as if", might just be the re-bonding medicine that we need--that or we will kill each other. But I digress...

Being a boat/water dude an all, he will be in his BLISS over here. My 14 year old stepdaughter however is another question. I am just praying that Mother Maui will cast a love spell on Marisa that will create her begging to move here. I plan to work on her and give her the best time ever when she gets here and with God's grace she might make a buddy or two and realize it could be awesome to move here. Bottom line, who is kidding who here? I have my work cut out for me.

It all seems pretty much a no brainer as far as ever other issue. When all else is said and done, and if for some unfortunate reason, if I am not fully rolling in enough dough to sustain myself with all my creative" trying to make it" projects and I gasp have to get a normal work a day job ( maybe a hotel, timeshare, who knows what?) AT LEAST, I will be living my dream and able to chalk another one of those wishes on the list of Patrice's life off. The community by the way that I have always craved seems to be here... there is a camaraderie over here of folks that are a true tribe of beings just grateful to call Maui home. And refuges from the Mainland all with something they wanted to find or to leave and Maui is one heck of a beacon of light- I tell ya! Then again maybe I will be so happy finally escaping from L.A that the Goddess of Prosperity and the Blesser of Book and Movie deals and all manner of Successes will find us here and we can live well and have a few more creature comforts ( like enough money to fly back if we want to!!!)

It is friggen Beautiful here ( no words do justice) It just feels warm and real and Aloha and something about the distance between here and the mainland makes all things seem new again,.... all things seem ...possible.

Is this running away, escaping, pulling a geographical, -- won't I be taking all my issues, burdens, sorrows bla bla bla with me? YES and your point is???? Damn it I need a new adventure and I think I am going to go ahead and give myself that gift. Sell and give away almost everything and bring me, Coco, my laptop, clothes and maybe Mark and Marisa and hop on over.

As I sit here breathing the warmth of hope and looking across the sparkling sea with the palm trees swaying and the green majestic peaks of Maui.... All that comes to mind is one big YES!

Oh and if the economy never recovers and all Hell breaks loose --I gotta say at least there are mangoes and avacados falling off of trees , bananas everywhere and plenty of fish to be caught- We won't go hungry ...

Just Love!


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Down the Rabbit Hole We go.... Adult Indigos, 2012 and the Love Revolution that is Underway

As I continue down-the-rabbit-hole of wonder on this spiritual path that I have been on for almost half a century now, the wonders continue at a breathtaking rate. The world as I knew it has changed and the LOVE revolution is most assuredly underway. 

My mission continues to become tweaked and crystallized for me . What I  offer up now is my truth and experience  as I report in for duty by sharing my personal unfoldment  as I/WE participate in that of Planet Earth's!

I would love for you to join me as we share these unprecedented changes together. As we go through it all -- all of it-- the tests, trials and tribulations, the ecstacys, the agonies.

 And me? A gal ( perhaps similar -- or not!-- to you ) , who has known all her life that there was something so tragically wrong with how this current Earth plane works-- this odd, dense, thick orb I found myself stuck  on. A stranger in a strange land. That remembered a place of such utter magnificance and joy--- so filled with Divinity and warmth-- I have suffered with longing for that home ever since.

It is so weird ( also known as perfect) how things are revealed to you at just the time that you are ready for them, apparantly!  After all these years as a spritual seeker, writer, student....I find out that there is actually a name for my  lifelong ailment and that indeed there are others ( thousands of others- though still a tiny minority! ) all over the world, like me. The Indigo Adults...

I am being guided to start communicating with you now-- more by the use of You Tube videos. I need to get real in only the way that eyes, voice, expression and movement can. Though I love the medium of writing, I am feeling the need to share in a way that words alone can't quite touch. I look forward to having you see me soon.

On my videos-- I will talk more about my discoveries regarding all this-- suffice to say, I finally understand what my spiritual "sadness/depression" has always been about. So many many things finally falling into place. Patrice's cosmic jigsaw puzzle ( if you will) has found some missing pieces. Who knows? Perhaps through my story, I might be of service in helping you find some of yours.

 Of this, I am certain, our mission is being quickened-- 2012 draws closer and  The Great Battle between Light and Dark-- Good and Evil is well underway and reaching a pivitol moment, we reach a cosmic critical mass. 

All of our suffering and homesickness has not been in vain. The trumpet has sounded and we are being called to order.   WE signed on to be here at this crucial time in Humanity's Evolution and to in fact remind each other that it is NOW and that we CAN bring Heaven to Earth. No, really! Really, Really, Really we can! 

 The way is Love.  The way is Truth. If God/Spirit is capable of all things--(And we know He/It is!)-- then it IS not only possible, it is in fact, our destiny.

and way overdue...

more to come, sweet ones.

Let us remember no-thing else....



Thursday, February 12, 2009

Down in the Dumps Day

I was wanting to come up with a super, clever, funny post for you all to make up for the fact that my blog seems to have dwindled down to just once a week, ( all part of my recent bout of melancholy) but I find I am failing miserably.
It is one of those days. You know the ones-- or do you? I wonder sometimes if I am a rarity when it comes down to those Blah, Blah, really Blah days or do you all have 'em too? Logic and my 12 step meetings tell me you do, but the way my warped mind works,I am tormented with little diddies like," God you are so f--ked up Patrice. No one else wanders around there house with the maddening existential angst like you do!"
My voices can be mean little a--holes, clever and cunning too. They just seem to get cheap thrills in kicking me extra hard, when I am down. They delight in it, in fact. Cruel little devils, they are. And then,  ( and this can really mess with me) comes the realization that "they" are indeed not from some external source. They are in fact all me!
Now if that doesn't send you wanting to run for the hills, I don't know what else could. I tell ya. "Why?", I ask myself, " do  you let YOU do that to YOU?"
No good answers come, only more questions.
Oh, I can come up with rote reasons-- spiritual growth, emotional maturing, deeper connections to kick my ass into being of service to others instead of moping around. But these " reasons"all seem trite and cliche today. Like bland fortune cookies that are stuffed with the same old crap you  have read a million times before. You will succeed in all your affairs.
 I wanted today, just for once to have the most brilliant of epiphanies that would result in me solving the riddle of all time, or creating world peace, or great art, or for the love of God at least some damn relief, but alas, today as usual, I just waited for the hours to pass. 
I snuggled Coco, made a few phone calls, watched Tivo'd shows, paced, ate, stared out the window when I wasn't gazing at the computer waiting for it to heal me. I talked to God, yelled at God, bargained with God and still the hours passed like molasses.
Even the invitation from my girlfriend in Maui to come for a visit in the next couple of weeks ( which I am going to do by the way) brought no real joy. Hawaii for God's sake! That should have stirred up a bit of delight-- but nope-- nada- zippo.
And so, I am blogging. I mean after all, I can't be funny, witty, zippy, trippy, Patrice all the time, can I? Should I? Would that I could!
Yuck, I am even boring myself here-- so I am going to move on. There is no " good " reason for all of this icky depression. Not really. No- one died. Well actually that is not true. A troubled gal ( obviously having some very bad days herself!) in my building accidentally overdosed on a Oxycontin and some kind of booze lethal combo last week.
 I went to her "viewing" yesterday even though I hardly knew her. Hey I was in  the area any way and it seemed like a decent thing to do. And truth be told, I haven't seen a dead body in a while and I was mildly curious...
  Yikes - yuck. Looking at her laying there looking not at all like the neighbor I saw once in a while, she looked old and weirdly made up. The embalmer maybe was having an off day?
  Her corpse gave me absolutely no pause in remembering that when I leave, I am absolutely to be cremated. No bad make up jobs for me, that I don't even get to approve -- thank you very much!
And now I have a perfectly good reason to claim is the reason for my blues today. That Claudia in # 203 died and she didn't really mean to.
May she rest in peace.
God I hope that's how it works. If not, I will be friggen Pissed off, I tell ya! 
Okay, I am going now-- tomorrow will be better. I can feel it. I will chalk the real reason for my state of mind today on a slew of facts,  my empty nest, midlife madness, planet gone bonkers, husband not around, teen stepdaughter suspended for being drunk, debt growing, mean nasty agents rejecting, phone not ringing, state of affairs....
Need I say more- Oh yeah and that Don't have any vices to play with!
Hey, having said all that-- I am actually am doing much better than I thought-- considering.....
 Much better happiness posting next time, I promise... or you can chase me down and slap me.
Truly, I need one thing and one thing only--  no really!  And, I'll be darned... I am going to find it and give it to myself. Who better????
Just Love!


Friday, February 6, 2009

The Sky is Falling

My latest fun activity is talking to random strangers on the streets, elevators, banks you name it and and getting their reaction to this one statement that I make, " It sure is getting crazy out there."

This one sentence seems to unleash an avalanche of responses from the moderately mild to the ragingly hysterical. I enjoy being the catalyst to let folks unburden their pent up emotions that somehow seem to be unearthed by my "invitation to let loose" and let loose they do. From politics to global warming, drug addiction to crime, the economy to illegal aliens, to real aliens ( as in the little green men kind) to, well, fill in the blank-- I have rarely met a stranger who does not take my bait and run wild with it.

The overall summarization that I can make of all this is that there is a collective sense out in the world that life as we know it has changed and is continuing to do so at a dizzying pace...

I, for one, am excited about the possibilities, a brotherhood among men will be the natural unfoldment coming out of all of this seeming chaos-- I really believe that. The sky may be falling but the Light is above us all and a new Heaven on Earth just may be under construction. We needed a new foundation and we are getting it. Our new home could be- will be- utterly glorious. Really.

In the meantime, "It sure is getting crazy out there."

Nothing else to do but....

Just Love!


Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Back with you

Good morning beautiful peeps,

Ah, it is good to be back-- I missed you all way too much and am not leaving again! Such a drama queen I am. Jeez.

The birds are a twirpin' the sun is a shining, spring is on the way and I have a lousy cold. This minor ailment gave me a  highly authentic reason to skip Vinnie's killer yoga class today. I just didn't have the energy to do an hour and a half of high level postures in a room with 80-100 other perfect bodied yogis sweatin' out here in Santa Monica....and soooooo--- I took Coco for a walk instead. Coco, for those of you that don't know is the cutest and I mean CUTEST wiener dog in the world.( see pic a few posts ago) By the way, I truly do live in the coolest neighborhood in L.A ( Venice/Santa Monica)-- Cafes, the beach, hip boutiques, the Venice boardwalk--what's not to love? When I am not in my cup half empty state, I truly can appreciate it, and trust me, for a gal that often swore that there was no friggen' cup, I have come a LONG way!

 FYI There are a lot of things happening on the career front so please keep fingers crossed for me. Let's put it this way, I am either on the verge of a spiritual empire with several new books and some old ones getting republished, script sold, non-profit raising tons of dough, speaking, signing, wining and dining-- OR bankruptcy. No, really! 

Let's all hold the intention for the former shall we? But always with that one caveat that covers EVERYTHING-- Thy will be done. ( I just love that -- it brings me such peace, when I let it) Something bigger than me has my back, and yours!

Uh oh! Sneezing and coughing attack is underway-- so I will sign off until later. I am glad to be back with ya all-- I have decided to keep it simple and just write...No more scrutinizing my every motive, analyzing my every move, pondering my ever intention for this blog.

"For the love of God Patrice," I tell myself, " Just write!"

And of course,

Just Love!


Monday, January 26, 2009

Waiting for Instructions and Saying Goodbye ( for now)

To darling you,

Tonight I knew deeply that it was time for me to check in, so that I could check out so to speak...

Blogging with you has been a creative, cathartic, very intimate (ish) and joyful dance... I feel close to you in that weird kind of way that only a cyber reality could offer...Therefore, it wouldn't have felt right to just stop posting for now without saying ciao (for a spell).

This is because...

Things are getting amped up very quickly now dramatically and galactically.

And I am feeling the need to go silent for a while as I re-evaluate life, my life, all life and all manner of, well, everything.   After a lifetime of spiritual preparation of sorts, I literally need to pull away  from the computer to go deep into the silence, that old original Holy Temple within.  I need to tune in and indeed listen for my  next instructions- my marching orders, if you will. What really is the most organic and needed next steps for this gal. It is time for me to get very private now with the powers that be and I just can't do that and do this with you all at the same time. Oh that I wish I could...

I have no idea where I am being led, but in true surrendered fashion,  am open to all possibilities. Not sure if  books, speaking, my children's stuff, the non-profit, the film or the shaved ice shack in Jaco, Costa Rica ( seriously) is where I am being directed but wherever God/Spirit needs me to go, I plan to be there. 

Know that I am, at all times and in ways that words don't begin to describe...
praying deeply and sending out blessings in every direction...

that we may all once again find ourselves playing, " Back in the Garden".

The waters will be getting rough. Keep the faith -- listen to your own instructions ( the heart)  get in position and stay the course. It will be worth it. The Light will win, Heaven on Earth awaits..

 I'll be back -- we'll be together again soon ( it's inevitable!) 

until that precious time ... Live well --enjoy your magical date with Lady Destiny and.....

Just Love!


Monday, January 19, 2009

To Bog or Not to Blog- Again!

Confession time.... I have been a bad bad blogger.

What started off as my new passion somehow has become my new pressure...I am experiencing Blogger Guilt and confusion for not posting more often. Especially since I have followers that I feel like I am leaving in the lurch when I up and disappear.

"Patrice", I tell myself," Just blog when you feel like it whether that's once a day or once a month. And write whatever the hell you fancy . This is your blog after all, and it's not like people are having a hard time sleeping through the night because Patrice hasn't posted in a bit, or that, gasp, she wrote what!"

Guys, it's just that lately a multitude of other blogging issues seem to be keeping me away from the keyboard that just a few weeks ago was my delightful cathartic escape...

#1 Do I really want people that I know out there ( strangers, by the way, seem to pose no major problem for me) but the thought that peers, ex-boyfriends, potential publishers, clients and neighbors are now privy to all my inner demons and desires is well, quite frankly, beginning to creep me out a bit. This could be solved by not revealing as much "deep" stuff as I do but that would be miss the entire point of what my blog is....As I have said before, that last kind of blog this gal will ever write is some generic, safe, boring little, look at my new teapot purchase ( complete with said teapot picture) kind of blog. Someone just shoot me on the spot, if I ever resort to that. Please.

#2 "I'm not in the mood!" Blogging has become yet another voice in my head ( and Lord knows, I have enough of those already!) Barking at me to write everyday. The rebel in me, well- rebels when I think that I have to do something on a regular basis.

#3 And just why am I blogging anyway? Obviously, I am no doubt analyzing this thing to death ( like I do most everything else by the way) At first, it wasn't going to be a "journally" thing at all as much as a place to simply write whatever the muse was serving up that day and have the added bonus of a little immediate gratification. That somewhere, someone was reading what I was writing so soon after it was written felt like quite a thrill. I thought that it would be a great way to get some writing done everyday and a new and interesting way to do it. Then I got caught up in trying to promote it and design it right and that led me down that Hellish road we all knows as Comparison Highway where it was never as good as...or as profound as...or as beautifully artistic as....

Adding to those dilemas, was the fact that my  format had turned into  some kind of self confessional, and this really brought with it some issues-- case in point--I recently wrote a powerful post about my love/hate relationship with smoking pot and then several days later, I promptly freaked out and deleted it because I got concerned that in this uptight society, where alcohol that kills and destroys so many many lives  is not only legal, but celebrated, yet a flower that grows naturally and at it's very worst, may make some a little goofy, unmotivated and eating too many illegal!--- someone out there might take issue and  judge me harshly and that this, I thought pretty darn courageous "outing" of myself, just might come back to haunt me. Of course after deleting it, I felt really conflicted and just plain old wimpy! I went into this kind of downward spiral that I am just now working through as I examine just what am I wanting to do with my blog anyway?

I now realize that I have written an entire post about whether to blog or not. That is just so like me. And I still have made no earth shattering decisions about how, how often or just what shape this blog will take, but I do feel much much better that I checked in.

Can I go now?

Oy Vey.

P.S By the way, I forget to mention that I just found out that I am indeed a true 
"Indigo Adult", Ah, so that explains it!!!!
I have a feeling that I will for sure be back to chat with you all about this latest discovery that is having a big impact on me. Google the expression, if you are curious...It's me-- I tell ya!

As always my lovely ones, thank's mucho for hanging out with all of the pieces that make up this confusing but hopefully tasty Patrice Pie...

Until I show up again (  hey, maybe even tomorrow!)

Just Love!


Monday, January 12, 2009

Compassionate Haze...

This will be a short and rather whiny post as I am having a rough time with re-entry into "normal life" after that fiasco most commonly known as "the holidays". For the love of God--what is that madness all about? If it is supposed to be about you God, I am afraid that somehow you got pushed to the side amidst the cookies, dysfunctional forced gatherings and rapant materialistic frenzy.

  Clearly you can see, I am in rare form --Bottom line as I write this,  everything seems rather annoying and slightly pointless today-- at least I finally have a bathroom! It's the little things people.

The weather is glorious here in LA after our "freeze". I am still in charge of one stepdaughter and two dogs and want to run away from home ( of course this will happen after I decided just what  home really is anyway)

I am reluctant and therefore dragging my heels before deciding to jump back into the push, promote, push, promote world of publishing, speaking, marketing etc. that is required for even thinking about getting your message out there while earning a living (let alone a little notoriety), if you are an author. And I am....

Working at the the shaved ice store in Costa Rica is still sounding mighty appealing right about now--

Earlier, I smoked something called Compassionate Haze ( no judgements!) and today that is exactly what I feel--a hazy and yet overwhelming compassion for a sad, troubled ailing planet, and this sort of makes my whole prioritizing of the day take on some new meaning.

And speaking of meaning, what the hell (pun) is all the suffering on Earth really all about anyway, if not to ever remind us at all times and especially when lost and

just love,


Saturday, January 3, 2009

Jay Leno Waving to me on Sleepy Saturday Afternoon

So there I am returning from being of service today and schlepping Eli's friend Daniel back to his house 45 miles from mine, ( long story- the kid is going through some hellish times-- it was the least I could do) So we are driving back up Topanga Canyon, Eli is asleep in the front seat, I am listening to the classic rock station and trudging my way along, when I spot a well groomed dude in a fine automotive specimen-- a beautiful burnt orange metallic sleek sports car ( I am not good with this kind of thing could have been a Corvette or a Lamborghini for all I know) anyway there we are at the stoplight and I give a weary smile...a smile that says " Hey well groomed dude in a tight car on a Saturday afternoon-- I am a tired mom with a headache, but yeah you look good, so hat's off to ya", When well groomed dude, gives me a huge grin and starts waving at me and lo and behold it's friggen Jay Leno!

So now I have like 12 seconds to make a huge decision-- do I let this moment pass or do I make a frantic appeal to get on his show by yelling out the opened window that I am an amazing spiritual author and tossing him a God Made Easy ? Now, I wish I could tell you that the passionate, spontaneous never let an opportunity go to waste power house- wild woman that I am, threw him the book, got invited for a meeting and history was born, but in those few seconds, I was just so surrendered to the surrealness of the moment, so tired of all the push and promote that seems to be required to sell a few books, and really just so humored by the whole event that I just waved back and then quickly acknowledged this to God.

Dear God,

Thank you for Jay Leno smiling and waving at me today. Since, I was not able to milk the moment so as to create greatness, I would like you to know that if you should see fit for me to finally make it ( as in not broke anymore!) as an author/speaker/teacher etc. (after all the work, body mind and soul that I have put in-- not to mention spreading the good word, oh yeah! and trying to make the world a way better place, and doing  great PR for ya!!! Hint Hint), then the ball ( like the entire universe) is in your court. Your daughter Patrice is currently wiped out.

Love always,


I sent the prayer mail, Jay turned right, Eli slept on and I continued deep through the canyon, home.

Just another day in L.A

Just another two beings that shared a moment.

Just Love,